The beginning of the end

Today I started my last first day at SDSU. A bitter-sweet moment, that I really didn't get to enjoy. No, my busy school, newspaper and work schedule took precedent over my emotions, yet I still feel them.

I will never forget the feeling of terror in my stomach when I saw the Campenile as I turned off Highway 14 August 2003. It was move-in day and I was scared out of my mind.

I didn't want to come to SDSU at first. I had my heart set on being a Husker, but fiances, family and fear drew me to SDSU, and I am thankful.

For a while, I wanted to leave. I wanted to go anywhere but here. The high school life I wanted desperatley to forget followed me and I tried to out run it. But I couldn't and soon realized I was right where I should be.

SDSU has been great to me these last few years. I have met some amazing people and did some amazing things. I have traveled to two countries, fallen in love, had my heart broken, learned some tough lessons, realized the importance of family, interviewed some pretty cool people, discovered the difference between real and "real" friends, fought an eating disorder, let my rebelious side come out, got a better idea of who I am and learned to rely on God in everything.

It's been a wonderful ride and I am sure this year will be no different. I am coming off of an amazing summer.

I was worried going into this summer about what would happen, but I had a lot of fun. I met a lot of great people and had some really fun experiences. I am still on a high for this summer and hope that that inertia will carry on to a great beginning.


Today, it was more evident that ever that this is my last year. Not because of grad applications or the elderly feeling I got as I watched herds of freshman wondered the campus. It was the question that everyone asked, "So what are you going to do after graduation?"

I feared the question because I fear the anwser. I honestly don't know, and that scares me. But I have a year left and time to figure it out.

This will be a good year, I can feel it. The Collegian is my life, and I kinda like it that way. I love putting my heart and soul into that newspaper, even though I get so worn out.

I am living in a wonderful apartment with wonderful roommates and I can tell my living situtation is going to produce some wacky, fun times.

Men are kinda absent from my life at the moment and that is ok. Sure, I have crushes and I don't object any developments, but I just don't think it will happen, and that is ok. I am busy with my own thing and my own goals right now. But who knows, maybe Mr. Right is around the corner.

Anyway, today is the beginning of the end. As I ran past Pierson Hall today I was reminded of my first day and all the hopes and dreams I had in store for this place. Many have come true, heck I still have a year left. But it is time to embrace this place one last time and get ready for the time I see the Campenile in the rear view mirror.