“The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs.”
After my last relationship, I made a pact to only let people into my life who deserved to be there. Men, friends and employers all fell under this umbrella that would block out anyone who didn’t help me be a better person. It was my first step into truly understanding who I was and embracing whoever that is.
This little rule became crucial when I moved back to South Dakota. In Idaho, friendships that needed to die did because of this new life and 1,800 miles. It was a relief to put some faces and names in my past because I believed I would never go back. Well, I did, and those faces and names were still there, so was the guilt from the quivering friendships that weren’t quite buried. To keep true to my pact, I would really need to focus on the good and true relationships and forget about any that caused an ounce a pain.
Last night, I was lying on my living room floor with five other people, curled up in every blanket and pillow I own. Several visitors created the opportunity for a sleepover, so we moved my furniture to the edges of the room and told stories that made us giggle to sleep. Amidst the goofiness, it occurred to me that not one of those five people had ever done or said anything that degraded me or brought me to tears. Rather, they soaked up the tears when they poured and assertively reminded me of the great I bring to the world. Last night, I was surrounded by people who deserve to be in my life.
I smiled as I finally gave into exhaustion and fell into a slumber. These five wonderful people gave me peace, but I also realized that being surrounded by truly loving people has become my standard.
Weeding out certain individuals and learning to let go of estranged friendships wasn’t easy, but for the first time in my life, most of my close social circle is comprised of people who inspire me to be the real me, to be the best I can. It’s the friends who promise to buy a copy of my first book or the ones who hold and pray with me when another has broken me. It’s the friends who laugh at my jokes and the ones who seek my advice. It’s the ones who just want me a part of their life that encourage, inspire and remind me. These are the people, along with my absolutely wonderful family, that make life worth living.
Making myself believe that I only deserve good people is hard, and sometimes I don’t, but I like who I am and the life I lead because positive people outnumber the negative ones. When problems and hurdles arise, they are much more manageable and those dreams don’t seem as far off.
A good friend and I were recently discussing happiness and how to achieve it. Not the happiness that comes when you get married, have a child, finish school, buy a house or lose that extra 10 pounds. But the happiness that is found in everyday life no matter location, marital status, career, belongings or financial stability – true happiness. To be happy with all that is front of me is a struggle, one I continue with, but surrounding myself with only uplifting people is tremendous in the pursuit of that achievement. I’m happy because of the people in my life.
Choosing only deserving people to live your life with is a life-long goal. You won’t completely fulfill it until your last breath. I’m getting better at letting go of unworthy friendships and relationships, yet I’m not perfect. However, I’m already such a better person just because of a pact I made two years ago. What’s more rewarding, is calling all these great people friends. Nothing in life is sweeter than that.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
A random burst of inspiration
So, I missed last Tuesday for inspiration. Sorry. I was locked up in a project that I am working on and hope to tell you all about soon. It's going to be GREAT. Also, there won't be one next Tuesday either because I'm going to Texas with this girl!
She is moving down there with her husband and they asked me to come along. Since one-way plane tickets are outrageously expensive, I'm going to take a bus a back. I've been told that will be an experience, and you know what, I love experience ;).
Anyway, on to inspiration:
1) Anthony Joseph Mangan, because last week was Father's Day and he is one of the most inspirational forces in my life.
My dad has impacted so many of my life decisions and is always the calm voice in my storms. His famous line to me: "If this is the worst thing that is ever going to happen to you, then you are going to be just fine." He reminds that life could always be worse, always. He is also the reason I went into journalism. He is such a hardworking reporter and is able to dance on the fine line of good rapport with sources and holding them accountable for their actions. That is a reporter's ultimate goal. I love you, dad.
2)
Charlie Brown
There is a bit of Charlie Brown in us all. Even with his grumpiness and lack of valentines and party invites, there is a hint of optimism that we can all relate to. Some good quotes:
"In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back."
“I've developed a new philosophy... I only dread one day at a time.”
"I just laughed about it, ... I just thought if you're going to align yourself with somebody, it might as well be champions. He made his own decisions, not doing something just because you have to do it. He had his own sense of purpose."
3) Speaking of champions, lately I've been thinking and preaching the philosophy of Muhammad Ali.
Ali told the world he was the greatest. He believed he would be the world champion and never once doubted that idea. He never said could or maybe, he just said he would. And he was the world champion and is one of the greatest athletes of all time. I used to think Ali was cocky, but as I've matured I've realized what that kind of confidence can do. The first step in accomplishing anything great is to believe in yourself, and he did. It probably wasn't easy and some days quitting was probably easier, but he rested in that belief and never gave up until it happened. It's a lesson I've been pulling from a lot lately and it inspires that I too can be the greatest.
4) Prairie Sunsets
Nothing sets my heart on fire like a prairie sunset. Over a bed of green crops, the sun takes on this luminosity as it retires from our eyes for the evening. It can't be compared. They usually encourage me to write, paint, sing, dance or just be happy.
5) “This is what you shall do: love the earth and sun, and animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence towards the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown, or to any man or number of men; go freely with the powerful uneducated persons, and with the young, and mothers, of families: read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life: re-examine all you have been told at school or church, or in any books, and dismiss whatever insults your soul.” - Walt Whitman
6) Being silly with people who love me for all that I am
7) Fireworks
I love fireworks, but probably won't see any this year on Independence Day. Bursts of light through the air seem to give me this "I like life" attitude. When I was living in Pocatello, the Fourth of July was a miserable day for a variety of reasons, but those sparkles gave me a bit of hope. I returned to Poky the following year for the Fourth and it was a wonderful patriotic celebration. Here is video from last year's fireworks show. We enjoyed the lights from the hill in my former editor's backyard. Commentary brought to you by Kellis, Cy and myself. I miss them. Oh, and Osa is a dog.
Have a wonderful week.
H
She is moving down there with her husband and they asked me to come along. Since one-way plane tickets are outrageously expensive, I'm going to take a bus a back. I've been told that will be an experience, and you know what, I love experience ;).
Anyway, on to inspiration:
1) Anthony Joseph Mangan, because last week was Father's Day and he is one of the most inspirational forces in my life.
My dad wearing a tux at the annual Parade of Lights, because people who announce the parade over the radio should be dressed in tuxes.
2)
Charlie Brown
"In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back."
“I've developed a new philosophy... I only dread one day at a time.”
"I just laughed about it, ... I just thought if you're going to align yourself with somebody, it might as well be champions. He made his own decisions, not doing something just because you have to do it. He had his own sense of purpose."
3) Speaking of champions, lately I've been thinking and preaching the philosophy of Muhammad Ali.
Ali told the world he was the greatest. He believed he would be the world champion and never once doubted that idea. He never said could or maybe, he just said he would. And he was the world champion and is one of the greatest athletes of all time. I used to think Ali was cocky, but as I've matured I've realized what that kind of confidence can do. The first step in accomplishing anything great is to believe in yourself, and he did. It probably wasn't easy and some days quitting was probably easier, but he rested in that belief and never gave up until it happened. It's a lesson I've been pulling from a lot lately and it inspires that I too can be the greatest.
4) Prairie Sunsets
Nothing sets my heart on fire like a prairie sunset. Over a bed of green crops, the sun takes on this luminosity as it retires from our eyes for the evening. It can't be compared. They usually encourage me to write, paint, sing, dance or just be happy.
5) “This is what you shall do: love the earth and sun, and animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence towards the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown, or to any man or number of men; go freely with the powerful uneducated persons, and with the young, and mothers, of families: read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life: re-examine all you have been told at school or church, or in any books, and dismiss whatever insults your soul.” - Walt Whitman
6) Being silly with people who love me for all that I am
7) Fireworks
I love fireworks, but probably won't see any this year on Independence Day. Bursts of light through the air seem to give me this "I like life" attitude. When I was living in Pocatello, the Fourth of July was a miserable day for a variety of reasons, but those sparkles gave me a bit of hope. I returned to Poky the following year for the Fourth and it was a wonderful patriotic celebration. Here is video from last year's fireworks show. We enjoyed the lights from the hill in my former editor's backyard. Commentary brought to you by Kellis, Cy and myself. I miss them. Oh, and Osa is a dog.
Have a wonderful week.
H
Monday, June 22, 2009
A reminder
One of life's honest realities is that tragedy acts as a reminder to the blessings before us. What rips us apart sheds light on what holds us together. What crumbles us allows us to find strength.
Some how, and I'm not sure why, I've never had to experience true tragedy. Sure, I've had my heart broken and been betrayed by a friend, but nothing has ripped my life apart. And I forget that sometimes. I forget how freaking great I have it.
Something painfully awful happened to someone I care about. No pain I've experienced can measure to one percent of what this person might be feeling. My heart hurts for this person and I wish I could find the perfect words to deliver. But I can't. All I can do is send my love, prayers and support.
I can also be thankful for what's in front of me. The life I lead is not a mistake. All that has happened to me and all that has been brought to me are blessings, even if it took me awhile to realize it or still can't. I can't change the world's activities but I can learn from them. And I can love all those that make me who I am.
To my friends and family, I love you more than life itself. You are my strength, my air, my ground. What I am and who I am is because of the people around me. I owe you all of my accomplishments and blessings.
It's a beautiful, messy life, but it's all we've got. Please, please don't take that for granted.
The deepest of love,
Heather Marie
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Resolution
We strive for resolution the way we strive for happiness and love. It's intangible, but something we desperately seek. To have resolved, is to put a sleep and never waste worry upon again.
More than two years ago a situation arose that shattered my dream-like attitude and caused me to constantly check my actions. It made me doubt myself in the one area I'd always been confident, and the idea it could happen again was permanently stuck in the back walls of my mind. Although it's fairly common, I couldn't shake the wrong I felt. Even a year later, I lashed out at the other person involved - on the web - and dug a deeper trench between us.
This week, I met face-to-face with that person. Neither of us expected to see the other and carried on for most of the time like nothing occurred. As we were to part ways, the other stopped and said the second most powerful set of three words, "I am sorry."
Instead of accepting those words, I repeated them. I wanted my deepest apologies to be known the way the other wanted them to be known. To say it and to hear it removed two years of pent up anger and regret. It was freeing to rebuild that connection and know it's safe.
That tiny hint of resolution was reaffirmation for my future. The journey I am embarking on now may involve similar situations, but I have confidence and courage, knowing that it never had anything to do with my character. It's just part of the gig.
That person is not a bad person. I am not a bad person. And we both know that. It might have taken two years for us to reach that point or just for us to run into each other, but it's over. It's an ended chapter, one with lesson and humility. We now move on, better for having gone through that situation because resolution was ultimately reached.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Inspiration, a bit late
Hi, lovelys,
Sorry about the lack of attention to the blog lately. Lots of great things going on and, unfortunately, the blog suffers a bit. But, I haven't forgotten about inspiration. Here is what is inspiring me this week:
1) Tattoos
My momma and I got tattoos this past weekend and it was painfully fun. There was no one else on this planet that I would rather get a tattoo with than my mom. A pic of mine:
Belief is what gets me through the day, so I felt it was an appropriate permanent mark. Words are my passion so I went with type over an image and I am a fan of one word sentences, thus the period. Also, the tat is in one of my favorite fonts: myriad pro. And now you've seen my geeky side.
Here is my mom's:
The initials are those of her children and the orange ribbon means happiness. It's pretty awes.
2) Today's daily reminder on my google page:
"Do not let difficulty conquer you. You must conquer it. My Strength will be there awaiting you."
3) Consignment shopping
My new Friday tradition is to hit up local consignment shops and add little sparkles to my wardrobe for less than two dollars. Here are a few of my finds:
4) My buddies Scott and John
These brothers are starting something pretty remarkable and I am pumped up every time they talk about it. They are going to do incredible things and they invited me along for the ride. They have brought truck loads of inspiration to my life the last couple of weeks. And to think, I met them less than six months ago. Via Twitter, nonetheless.
5) Micah, who never lets me forget my dream of writing a book. He is also one of the most creative people I know, and when I spend too much time with him, the creativity rubs off.
6) When I was younger, I was very careful with word choice when I wrote little messages in greetings cards. The objective was to make the person cry (good tears, of course). It's funny because I still consider it a success when my writing brings enough emotion to create tears. I love this quote because it defines a truly remarkable writer.
"The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart." - Maya Angelou
7) Another one of my favorite writing songs. So moving.
Sorry about the lack of attention to the blog lately. Lots of great things going on and, unfortunately, the blog suffers a bit. But, I haven't forgotten about inspiration. Here is what is inspiring me this week:
1) Tattoos
My momma and I got tattoos this past weekend and it was painfully fun. There was no one else on this planet that I would rather get a tattoo with than my mom. A pic of mine:
Belief is what gets me through the day, so I felt it was an appropriate permanent mark. Words are my passion so I went with type over an image and I am a fan of one word sentences, thus the period. Also, the tat is in one of my favorite fonts: myriad pro. And now you've seen my geeky side.
Here is my mom's:
The initials are those of her children and the orange ribbon means happiness. It's pretty awes.
2) Today's daily reminder on my google page:
"Do not let difficulty conquer you. You must conquer it. My Strength will be there awaiting you."
3) Consignment shopping
My new Friday tradition is to hit up local consignment shops and add little sparkles to my wardrobe for less than two dollars. Here are a few of my finds:
The shirt, jeans and shoes are all lucky finds
Love this jumper. So cute.
4) My buddies Scott and John
John, me, Scott
These brothers are starting something pretty remarkable and I am pumped up every time they talk about it. They are going to do incredible things and they invited me along for the ride. They have brought truck loads of inspiration to my life the last couple of weeks. And to think, I met them less than six months ago. Via Twitter, nonetheless.
5) Micah, who never lets me forget my dream of writing a book. He is also one of the most creative people I know, and when I spend too much time with him, the creativity rubs off.
6) When I was younger, I was very careful with word choice when I wrote little messages in greetings cards. The objective was to make the person cry (good tears, of course). It's funny because I still consider it a success when my writing brings enough emotion to create tears. I love this quote because it defines a truly remarkable writer.
"The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart." - Maya Angelou
7) Another one of my favorite writing songs. So moving.
Have a wonderful rest of the week.
H
Monday, June 08, 2009
Inspiring
Hello, loves,
Big ideas are a brewin' for this girl so I need lots of inspiration. Want some?
1) David Sedaris
I kind of want his life- live in France and write stories about the odd things that happen from day to day. His audio books are great road trip companions. High Plains Reader, an alternative newspaper in Fargo, just did this story on him. The fact that it sometimes takes him 11 years to write his stories is ultra inspiring. The ebb and flow of his work astounds me and it always leaves me wanting more. This story was my first introduction to Sedaris and one of my favorite Easter stories, well next to the resurrection of Jesus Christ of course.
2) Nike commercials.
Big ideas are a brewin' for this girl so I need lots of inspiration. Want some?
1) David Sedaris
2) Nike commercials.
Nike's advertising is solid from year to year and many of them give me this "I can move the world" mentality. Here are a few of my favs:
3) Michael Scott
Sure, this The Office character is an idiot at times, but idiotically brilliant. His heart is as big as the world and belief stronger than the ocean. Some favorite sincere Michael Scott quotes:
3) Michael Scott
Photo from here
"Finishing that 5K was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I ate more fettuccini alfredo, and drank less water than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit. Well today I had a triumph of the human body. That's why everybody was applauding for me at the end. My guts, my heart and well I eventually puked my guts out. I never puked my heart out, and I am very proud of that."
"Who would've thought, that the thing that would save this company would be work. And pancakes. In the end, this day definitely had its ups and downs. I realized that we don't have the biggest office, which is a surprise, because 165 square feet sounds like a lot, but we have people with the biggest hearts and I think for a small company, that is really-- [toilet flushes] someone went to the bathroom... that is really what's important."
4) My friends Dessi and Shelly
They are both taking huge leaps of faith and believe strongly in the paths that are set before them. To do what they are going to do, takes an amazing breath of courage, but neither one of them could imagine doing anything else. I spoke with them individually about the life they've chosen and they remind me that each of us has a destiny and this is theirs. And they wouldn't have it either way.
"I didn't find the perfect moment. Because I think that today was about just having today. And I think that we are one of those couples with a long story, when people ask how we found each other. I, will see her, every now and then, and, maybe one year she'll be with somebody and the next year I'll be with somebody. And it's going to take a long time... and then it's perfect. I'm in no rush."
"Who would've thought, that the thing that would save this company would be work. And pancakes. In the end, this day definitely had its ups and downs. I realized that we don't have the biggest office, which is a surprise, because 165 square feet sounds like a lot, but we have people with the biggest hearts and I think for a small company, that is really-- [toilet flushes] someone went to the bathroom... that is really what's important."
4) My friends Dessi and Shelly
I only had a photo of Shelli, but, take my word, Dessi is GORGEOUS
5) "Why ponder thus the future to foresee,
and jade thy brain to vain perplexity?
Cast off thy care, leave Allah's plans to him —
He formed them all without consulting thee."
- Omar Khayyam, The Rubaiyat
6) The Sanford's Children Hospital
I had the amazing pleasure of attending a gala Saturday night in support of the Children's Hospital. That beautiful building and the passionate people who made it a reality gave me goosebumps, but the bravery of the children who inhabit the hospital brought me to tears. If we all had an ounce of the determination those children do, peace would resound. Over 1,200 people, donned in classy attire, attended the event in honor of what's already been accomplished and to show support for what still needs to be accomplished. I was so blessed to be there and I want to thank the Meyers and the Blues for inviting me. Simply incredible.
7) My sketch book
When I was younger, I begged my mom to buy me oil pastels to draw flowers and houses. I bought a sketch book and pastels a few months ago and it's amazing the creativity that flows through me after a couple doodles. I hadn't touched them in a couple weeks, but last Monday, I had a strong urge to just draw something. I filled three pages before bed. The next day, I went to work bursting with energy and came up with a fantastic idea for email art that required me to play with sidewalk chalk. It was a hit with the people in charge of the email and gave me a renewed sense of creative confidence.
That's all I have. Have a lovely Tuesday.
Heat
7) My sketch book
When I was younger, I begged my mom to buy me oil pastels to draw flowers and houses. I bought a sketch book and pastels a few months ago and it's amazing the creativity that flows through me after a couple doodles. I hadn't touched them in a couple weeks, but last Monday, I had a strong urge to just draw something. I filled three pages before bed. The next day, I went to work bursting with energy and came up with a fantastic idea for email art that required me to play with sidewalk chalk. It was a hit with the people in charge of the email and gave me a renewed sense of creative confidence.
That's all I have. Have a lovely Tuesday.
Heat
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Musical love
Today, I sat my in the middle of my living room bawling, asking God to give me strength, hope and clarity.
A few hours later, I received two song dedications from two people who I love so very much. Both of them wanted me to know they love me and are there for me. And now I can’t stop crying because these are answered prayers.
Here are the songs they sent me. Share one with someone special today. It’ll probably make their day. It made mine.
To those two special people, you are my blessings, my rocks. I love you.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Hope
Hope makes us believe in the impossible. Hope leads us to depend on silly notions and unrealistic expectations. Hope makes the bruises purple and the pain sting. Hope paints dream pictures that cover the hard truth.
Hope, though, gets us from day to day. Hope is the helping hand after a long fall. Hope makes life worth living.
And I'd rather stumble and lose 1,000 times than ever lose hope. Never, ever lose hope.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Tuesday of Inspiration
It's Tuesday and guess what that means? Inspiration! Here are my inspiring things for the first week of June :)
1) If you have not seen this movie, you must.
It's simply amazing. I may or may not have cried. Twice. This film reminded me it's OK to still believe in the magic of balloons, adventures happen every day and it's never to late to follow you dream. If you haven't seen this, go. Now.
2) Amy
I'm so freaking proud of this girl. She decided to move to Portland. The world gave her several reasons not to go, but she didn't listen. She stuck to her dreams and reached the West Coast Monday. To pick up and move away from everything you know takes great courage. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I'm already looking into plane/train tickets and hope to visit her soon. Amy, you are a star and Portland is blessed to have you!
3.)
I tore this headline out of the Argus Leader a few years ago. It was the Sunday center package and a story I still love to hear. The article was about SDSU's version of Rudy and his desire to wear the Jackrabbit uniform. His college career topped out to less than minute of actual game time, but he didn't care. Just a year out of school, this particular player sent a check to Coach Stig. He loved that program so much that he wanted to support young athletes who felt the same way. That story inspires me to donate, to never give up and to always be thankful for what you achieve, great or small. This headline has been with me at every job and I'll carry it with me until it disintegrates into yellow mush.
1) If you have not seen this movie, you must.
It's simply amazing. I may or may not have cried. Twice. This film reminded me it's OK to still believe in the magic of balloons, adventures happen every day and it's never to late to follow you dream. If you haven't seen this, go. Now.
2) Amy
I'm so freaking proud of this girl. She decided to move to Portland. The world gave her several reasons not to go, but she didn't listen. She stuck to her dreams and reached the West Coast Monday. To pick up and move away from everything you know takes great courage. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I'm already looking into plane/train tickets and hope to visit her soon. Amy, you are a star and Portland is blessed to have you!
3.)
I tore this headline out of the Argus Leader a few years ago. It was the Sunday center package and a story I still love to hear. The article was about SDSU's version of Rudy and his desire to wear the Jackrabbit uniform. His college career topped out to less than minute of actual game time, but he didn't care. Just a year out of school, this particular player sent a check to Coach Stig. He loved that program so much that he wanted to support young athletes who felt the same way. That story inspires me to donate, to never give up and to always be thankful for what you achieve, great or small. This headline has been with me at every job and I'll carry it with me until it disintegrates into yellow mush.
On a semi-related note: The development directors in my office give out a monthly Roadie award to someone who plays a crucial role in helping them accomplish their goals. They gave it to me for the month of May. It comes with a gift card to the University Bookstore. That made me happy :)
4.) This wall art at one of my favorite places.
5.) Lucy
The most inspirational thing in my life is people who follow their dreams. Lucy is a prime example. She's dream chasing and, at times, it sucks. But she believes in her dream so she keeps running after it. I believe in her dream and I believe in her. This girl is going places and I'm so inspired by the leap of faith she took to convert those dreams to realities. It's a long and tough process, but I have all the confidence that she can and will conquer those dreams. I can't wait to say I knew her when ...
6.) In my humble opinion, this is the best song ever written. It inspires me to write, to live and to love.
7) Modern Love essays
These move me and come from the softest part of the heart. I have a great idea for one, and hope to write it in the next month or so. Watch for it :)
Hope you feel inspired :) I do. Rest easy, children, and I will see you shortly.
Heat
4.) This wall art at one of my favorite places.
5.) Lucy
The most inspirational thing in my life is people who follow their dreams. Lucy is a prime example. She's dream chasing and, at times, it sucks. But she believes in her dream so she keeps running after it. I believe in her dream and I believe in her. This girl is going places and I'm so inspired by the leap of faith she took to convert those dreams to realities. It's a long and tough process, but I have all the confidence that she can and will conquer those dreams. I can't wait to say I knew her when ...
6.) In my humble opinion, this is the best song ever written. It inspires me to write, to live and to love.
7) Modern Love essays
These move me and come from the softest part of the heart. I have a great idea for one, and hope to write it in the next month or so. Watch for it :)
Hope you feel inspired :) I do. Rest easy, children, and I will see you shortly.
Heat
Monday Blog goodness
So, remember how I wrote about my geeky obsession/inspiration from Elsie and her bf Jeremy? Well, Elsie is doing this awesome 24-hour blog session and I really think all of you must check it out! It makes me so excited because when I check her blog seven times today, like I do most days, there will be an update! And I'll probably have Jeremy streaming on last.fm. today. Woot. That is fabulous news because I have some major designing and writing to do today and Elsie and Jeremy are great inspirations for my creative process :) Melissa and I have made it our goal to make the nine or so-hour trek to Springfield to visit the RVA store and maybe meet them both. So, go check out her blog and check out her RVA store for some cuteness :)
Sunday, May 31, 2009
An unexpected path
A friend of mine recently lost his job. After I spoke with him about the situation and what his plans are as a member of the unemployed world, I began to wonder what if that was me. What would I do if my source of income was shut off? What would I do if I no longer had a steady job that occupied 40 hours of my week? What would I do if I had no plan?
Then, a piece of me almost envied him. Sure, I know where my next pay check is coming from and I enjoy my job, but maybe he's going to experience something truly remarkable. Maybe by wandering a bit, he'll find what he's looking for.
I told him that this is a blessing in disguise, and today he called me saying the unemployed plans have changed. He is now employed and moving to Boston. For him, it worked out and the unknown only last a few days.
I know exactly what I would do if the rug was pulled out from underneath me. I don't have to think twice. How about you? What would you do? Maybe that's what you should be doing.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I think someone's trying to tell me something
This quote appeared on two of my tea bags today. I only drank two. It's a God wink, in more ways than one. Probably needed to hear it twice.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Inspiring Tuesdays
Here, have some inspiration :)
1) Rain
Some see rainy days full of gloom, I, however, see them full of magic. I'm inspired by the cool drops that hit my skin and hair and it's fairly rejuvenating to take worries out on puddles. It took me awhile to believe it is OK to jump in small pools of water in the middle of the street. Not only do I believe it is OK now, I believe it is necessary. After I wrote about dancing in the rain, my mother gave me these adorable boots. I christened them in during Monday's lovely May showers.
2.)
I've probably watched this video of Elizabeth Gilbert speaking about a billion times, but it's fascinating. The way she describes the creative process is dead on. Sometimes you can't predict it and it comes at annoying times, but you can't ignore it. This happens to me often. It's also interesting what she says about writing as a profession and its burden. I have those fears and feel that depression, still I love writing. I guess that is why this talk moves me the way it does.
3.) Old friends (part 1)
Denise and I touring The Haight
Denise surprised me last week, saying she was in town. So we met for coffee and packed as much catching up in as we could in three hours. She is such a special person in my life and she leads me to believe that I can conquer the world. Just being with her for that short time lit me up and I can't wait for her next visit with her soon-to-be hubby. We live different lives, yet our friendship strengthens with the time. She took such a chance two years ago, and so far, it's been fruitful to her. That girl is going to do great things with her life.
4.) I adore this.
"Love doesn't die. It just gets buried under fear and failures to be brave. It gets buried under all that sludge."
5.) On road trips of 3+ hours, I usually rent a few audio books to make the miles fly. When I went out west to visit Roxy and Jeremy a few months ago, I listened to this NPR series, "This I believe." They are personal essays from people old, young, rich, poor, black, white and any color in between. These are simply remarkable. You can find several of the essays online, and I encourage you to check a few of them out. They will move you. A few of my recent favorites are I am still the greatest, The Beatles live on and Inviting the world to dinner. I hope to write my own essay someday. Maybe I'll even share it on this blog :)
6.) Old friends (part 2)
This weekend, some of my old college friends and I met in Sioux Falls for shopping, dinner making and Mad Gab. It was wonderful. All those memories and old laughs filled me with joy. We are on all different paths now, but it's fun to think that, at one time, we were all at the same place and that's what brought us together this weekend. Lovely.
Mindy, Kieara, Laura and I shopping in a vintage store in downtown Sioux Falls. Kelli joined us later in the evening for some Mad Gab and catch up.
7. Ace of Cakes and Chef Duff
Photo from here
OK, so it may seem lame to claim a Food Network show as an a source of inspiration, but this show is great. I don't watch a ton of TV, but if Ace of Cakes is on when I'm flipping through the channels, I definitely tune in. (And you can watch online!) The show follows Chef Duff and his bakery Charm City Cakes. Basically, the guy started his own shop, hired all of his friends and they make ridiculously beautiful cakes. What I love about Duff and his crew is that they aren't bakers, they are artists. Every time I watch it, I'm desperately crave to be in a business where I stay up all night being creative and doing what I love with my friends. What a great life.
That's all for this week. Now, go be inspiring :)
Loves,
Heat
1) Rain
Some see rainy days full of gloom, I, however, see them full of magic. I'm inspired by the cool drops that hit my skin and hair and it's fairly rejuvenating to take worries out on puddles. It took me awhile to believe it is OK to jump in small pools of water in the middle of the street. Not only do I believe it is OK now, I believe it is necessary. After I wrote about dancing in the rain, my mother gave me these adorable boots. I christened them in during Monday's lovely May showers.
2.)
I've probably watched this video of Elizabeth Gilbert speaking about a billion times, but it's fascinating. The way she describes the creative process is dead on. Sometimes you can't predict it and it comes at annoying times, but you can't ignore it. This happens to me often. It's also interesting what she says about writing as a profession and its burden. I have those fears and feel that depression, still I love writing. I guess that is why this talk moves me the way it does.
3.) Old friends (part 1)
Denise and I touring The Haight
Denise surprised me last week, saying she was in town. So we met for coffee and packed as much catching up in as we could in three hours. She is such a special person in my life and she leads me to believe that I can conquer the world. Just being with her for that short time lit me up and I can't wait for her next visit with her soon-to-be hubby. We live different lives, yet our friendship strengthens with the time. She took such a chance two years ago, and so far, it's been fruitful to her. That girl is going to do great things with her life.
4.) I adore this.
"Love doesn't die. It just gets buried under fear and failures to be brave. It gets buried under all that sludge."
5.) On road trips of 3+ hours, I usually rent a few audio books to make the miles fly. When I went out west to visit Roxy and Jeremy a few months ago, I listened to this NPR series, "This I believe." They are personal essays from people old, young, rich, poor, black, white and any color in between. These are simply remarkable. You can find several of the essays online, and I encourage you to check a few of them out. They will move you. A few of my recent favorites are I am still the greatest, The Beatles live on and Inviting the world to dinner. I hope to write my own essay someday. Maybe I'll even share it on this blog :)
6.) Old friends (part 2)
This weekend, some of my old college friends and I met in Sioux Falls for shopping, dinner making and Mad Gab. It was wonderful. All those memories and old laughs filled me with joy. We are on all different paths now, but it's fun to think that, at one time, we were all at the same place and that's what brought us together this weekend. Lovely.
Mindy, Kieara, Laura and I shopping in a vintage store in downtown Sioux Falls. Kelli joined us later in the evening for some Mad Gab and catch up.
7. Ace of Cakes and Chef Duff
Photo from here
OK, so it may seem lame to claim a Food Network show as an a source of inspiration, but this show is great. I don't watch a ton of TV, but if Ace of Cakes is on when I'm flipping through the channels, I definitely tune in. (And you can watch online!) The show follows Chef Duff and his bakery Charm City Cakes. Basically, the guy started his own shop, hired all of his friends and they make ridiculously beautiful cakes. What I love about Duff and his crew is that they aren't bakers, they are artists. Every time I watch it, I'm desperately crave to be in a business where I stay up all night being creative and doing what I love with my friends. What a great life.
That's all for this week. Now, go be inspiring :)
Loves,
Heat
A storm is nearing
A storm is nearing.
The wind’s been flirting with the trees most of the day, forcing them to sway in the direction of its affection. But, as the sky transforms to a thick, ugly blue, the wind’s fury picks up and the trees follow accordingly. The temperature drops and the air prepares itself for Mother Nature’s wrath.
The wind, the trees, the ugly blue ski, the temperature, the air are welcoming the storm. They all know that once it has passed, life can resume with sunshine.
My soul feels the same. A storm is coming, and I’m anxious for it past. The waiting builds a muck in my head and stomach and I'm ready for it to spill over into a thrashing storm. On the other side of that quake, joy and warmth will welcome me like best friends do.
Maybe as the rain falls tonight, so will my tears. Probably for no reason at all other than for the stillness that arrives when they are out of my stomach, my throat, my eyes.
Storms, of the physical and emotional kind, are sometimes needed. Without them, we’d never have rainbows.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
A plateau year
Kirby and I several, several years ago (I adore old photos)
A friend of mine broke her phone and I offered her my old one. Although she ended up not needing it, I drug it out of a cluttered mess that is my filing cabinet and turned it on, hoping it would allow a quick trip back in time to a year ago. The welcoming screen was a bag of potatoes with “IDAHO” inscribed in a thick blue font., a picture I’m not sure I would put up now. As I scanned through text messages, I saw a few from friends I rarely speak to now, which, naturally, pricked my heart. And then I found one to a friend that simply said “I hate myself.”
I can’t quite remember what instigated such a declaration, but I’m sure it was the right combination of pity, forecasts of rejection and downright sorrow that hit the feel-sorry-for-me nerve at that particular moment. I tried to remember what was so upsetting at that time in my life that isn’t a general issue now, and there isn’t really one significant issue. The only real difference was me.
It amuses me how much I’ve changed in the last seven years. When I was 17, I was a girl without an opinion who had been rarely scratched by life’s hand. Yet, I consumed the world and believed I was at its center. I dreamed that first loves would last forever and that the only real happiness I would need is to be called someone’s wife. The number on the scale measured my self-worth and every day was met with a set of plans, rules and limitations. I used to view myself as a gray blob that just went along with the other blobs because it was the easiest and well-versed path. That was just me, and I didn’t care to test that idea.
As I aged, my opinions and morals strengthened and weakened. I’ve changed my mind on politics and religions to reflect what I actually believe, not what someone told me to believe. My heart’s been broken enough times for me to realize that a man can never define me or my happiness. And my trusted plans have almost broke my heart just as much, to the to the point that I’m beginning to withdraw my faith in them too.
My college years and the short time in Idaho were crucial to my current makeup, but the last year has had the most dramatic affect on my definition. As new details about me surface, this skin starts to loosen and comfort feels normal.
I’m in the same job, relationship status and circle of friends (for the most part) that I was a year ago, yet my foundation has sifted into a solid frame. Rough lessons in simple notions, such as forgiveness, compassion, honesty and reality, have brought out my defining characteristics and the idea of loving myself is clearer than it’s ever been.
Self discovery is an electrifying process. Its fun to see parts of my life solidify, even simple things like my taste in music or my vegetarian lifestyle. I’m passionate about things that I’m proud to be passionate about and am removing all concerns about others’ input to find my opinionated voice. And I can honestly look myself in the mirror and say "That woman is beautiful." I've never been able to do that before. Never.
This is very much a work in progress. I don’t like the fact that I let insignificant things and people ruin my attitude. I still beat myself down to a withering soul when I can’t take certain risks.
But, that’s OK. From the outside, it may seem like this has been a plateau year, but it’s been a necessity for what’s to come. My future careers, relationships and big adventures will appreciate the past 12 months. If I’m going to prove to the world that I’m amazing, all the pieces of me must believe it.
And you know what? I am pretty freaking amazing.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Princes, ghosts and goblins
The following is a scenario I observed the other day :
A five-year-old girl dances the way five-year-old girls do. She wears a sequined and polyester pink dress and blue ribbon in pin-tight curly hair. She forgets where and who she is for a moment to become a princesse. Not just any princess though, but the most lovely princess in all of the land. Like any princess, she lives in sturdy stone castle and wears only precious jewels. She dances as if it is her only duty in life. Alas, she realizes she should have a partner, a prince.
She searches high and low for the handsome Prince Charming. He is supposed to beat the dragons and rescue her from an average life. But there is no prince. Not in this land. She begins to wonder if princes even exist.
A friend suggests she marry a ghost instead. The ghost bears good qualities, but can’t quite make a commitment, being that he is dead.
Frustrated the friend suggests the princess marry a goblin. Not seeing any other options, the princess settles for the goblin.
As I watched two young girls play this scene out, I was very disturbed. Even at a young age, girls are taught that princes don’t exist, ghosts won’t marry you and goblins are what’s left. No wonder so why so many of single female friends feel hopeless when it comes to men and relationships.
Hmph.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Check out my new blog!
Hi, folks,
So I've decided to run a marathon and am going to blog about it! Hi-ya (insert virtual high five)!
Please check it out. Don't worry though, I always loves heathermangan.blogspot.com and promise to keep things rolling on the blogspot.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Inspire
Bonjour, mes amour,
I've been thinking about adding a weekly feature to my blog, some type of constant that's slightly entertaining than my ramblings. I've tossed around a few ideas but haven't found anything I think can write about on a weekly basis.
At work, we've had a string of groundbreakings and dedications this past month and each of them brought tears to my eyes. Engineers, farmers and athletes were all responsible for igniting this fire in me, this inspiration. It then occurred to me that it doesn't take much to inspire me, professionally or personally (I don't see this as a bad problem.) What usually happens, though, is that I'm geared up about something, but never shared that small flint of passion.
To sustain that fire and share my influences, I've decided that Tuesdays are going to be inspiration day on heathermangan.blogspot.com. Why Tuesday? Well, the newness of the week has worn off, but it's still far from the end. It's a lull day. For me, a good dose inspiration can get me through to hump day and, sometimes, it sustains till Thursday or Friday.
So, it's my goal to post seven pieces of inspiration each Tuesday and share with you all what takes me from day to day. It may be people, places, art, food, songs, TV shows or anything that makes me want to do something good for this world. Here goes my first Inspiring Tuesdays post:
1.) Elsie Flannigan
I found Elsie's blog on a friend's blog roll awhile ago and now check it about seven times a day. She is so creative and is driven to produce only "cute" things. She is a great refresher for me when my creative process is stuck and thick mud builds in my head. What I've learned most from Miss Flannigan is that you don't have to move to a great big city to do what you love. You can make beautiful things in the place that you've always known. And Springfield, Mo., is a fine place to follow your dreams. Also, her boyfriend, Jeremy Larson, is my new favorite and I'm listening to him as I write this post.
2.) This quote was on my tea bag a few months ago and it chilled me. I ended up giving the one in the picture to a local author, V.J. Smith, days before his second book, Jackrabbit Tales, went on sale. A couple days later, the saying showed up again and I taped it to my work computer monitor. PS: My brother got me the kickin' Dunder Mifflin cup for Christmas. It's great.
3.) All of this sunshine that we've been blessed with here in the Dakota of the South :)
4.) A few people Tweeted this speech and I listened to as I worked on some designs today. It was fabulous, and of course inspired me to go out and do what I love. Gary's message is captivating and he mentioned many things that I've been mulling over in my own life. This speech was seriously something I needed to hear. Warning: There is some foul language, but that's all a part of being passionate :) Also, at the 31 minute, you hear my Twitter friend John Meyer ask for a job. He should get one based on his guts alone. Hey, a brave Jon Favreau went out on a limb and corrected a Illinois Senator on his speech and now look at him.
5.) One of the concepts Gary discussed is doing the crappy things in order to do what you love. He talked a lot about working less-than-rewarding jobs just so that you can pay the bills. Then spend every minute of your free time doing what you love, so that you can some day make money from what you love. It's what Gary calls "winning." That accurately describes Kate. She is a copy editor to pay the bills, but a crafter at heart. When she isn't working, she puts most of her time and effort into making gorgeous cards, notebooks, notecards, tags and other great items. Her business is her dream, and she motivates me daily to sprint after mine. I truly believe that some day Kate's business will be her full-time job and she'll win.
I've been thinking about adding a weekly feature to my blog, some type of constant that's slightly entertaining than my ramblings. I've tossed around a few ideas but haven't found anything I think can write about on a weekly basis.
At work, we've had a string of groundbreakings and dedications this past month and each of them brought tears to my eyes. Engineers, farmers and athletes were all responsible for igniting this fire in me, this inspiration. It then occurred to me that it doesn't take much to inspire me, professionally or personally (I don't see this as a bad problem.) What usually happens, though, is that I'm geared up about something, but never shared that small flint of passion.
To sustain that fire and share my influences, I've decided that Tuesdays are going to be inspiration day on heathermangan.blogspot.com. Why Tuesday? Well, the newness of the week has worn off, but it's still far from the end. It's a lull day. For me, a good dose inspiration can get me through to hump day and, sometimes, it sustains till Thursday or Friday.
So, it's my goal to post seven pieces of inspiration each Tuesday and share with you all what takes me from day to day. It may be people, places, art, food, songs, TV shows or anything that makes me want to do something good for this world. Here goes my first Inspiring Tuesdays post:
1.) Elsie Flannigan
I found Elsie's blog on a friend's blog roll awhile ago and now check it about seven times a day. She is so creative and is driven to produce only "cute" things. She is a great refresher for me when my creative process is stuck and thick mud builds in my head. What I've learned most from Miss Flannigan is that you don't have to move to a great big city to do what you love. You can make beautiful things in the place that you've always known. And Springfield, Mo., is a fine place to follow your dreams. Also, her boyfriend, Jeremy Larson, is my new favorite and I'm listening to him as I write this post.
2.) This quote was on my tea bag a few months ago and it chilled me. I ended up giving the one in the picture to a local author, V.J. Smith, days before his second book, Jackrabbit Tales, went on sale. A couple days later, the saying showed up again and I taped it to my work computer monitor. PS: My brother got me the kickin' Dunder Mifflin cup for Christmas. It's great.
"Everything I did in life that was worthwhile I caught hell for."
- Earl Warren
3.) All of this sunshine that we've been blessed with here in the Dakota of the South :)
4.) A few people Tweeted this speech and I listened to as I worked on some designs today. It was fabulous, and of course inspired me to go out and do what I love. Gary's message is captivating and he mentioned many things that I've been mulling over in my own life. This speech was seriously something I needed to hear. Warning: There is some foul language, but that's all a part of being passionate :) Also, at the 31 minute, you hear my Twitter friend John Meyer ask for a job. He should get one based on his guts alone. Hey, a brave Jon Favreau went out on a limb and corrected a Illinois Senator on his speech and now look at him.
Gary Vaynerchuk @ Big Omaha 2009 from Big Omaha on Vimeo.
5.) One of the concepts Gary discussed is doing the crappy things in order to do what you love. He talked a lot about working less-than-rewarding jobs just so that you can pay the bills. Then spend every minute of your free time doing what you love, so that you can some day make money from what you love. It's what Gary calls "winning." That accurately describes Kate. She is a copy editor to pay the bills, but a crafter at heart. When she isn't working, she puts most of her time and effort into making gorgeous cards, notebooks, notecards, tags and other great items. Her business is her dream, and she motivates me daily to sprint after mine. I truly believe that some day Kate's business will be her full-time job and she'll win.
Kate and I at Pebble Creek in January 2008.
6.) I've know I posted about this song before, but my absolute favorite writing song is "Where I stood" by Missy Higgins. Pretty much everything I write is under this song's influence. There is so much heart and passion behind it that I'm encouraged to always write from my own, whether the topic is requited love or bananas.
7.) The last few months, mornings have been really rough for me. I don't sleep well because my mind won't quit and I'm physically worn out from all-night mental battles. The one sure-fire thing to snap me out of a bad attitude in that situation, or any for that matter, is this girl walking into the office.
Hope you enjoyed my first edition of Inspiring Tuesdays. There are so many other great people and things I wanted to mention but I'm gonna stick with seven for now. Be on the look out next Tuesday for heaps of inspiration!
Blessings,
H
7.) The last few months, mornings have been really rough for me. I don't sleep well because my mind won't quit and I'm physically worn out from all-night mental battles. The one sure-fire thing to snap me out of a bad attitude in that situation, or any for that matter, is this girl walking into the office.
Melissa
Melissa reminds me that every day is meant to be filled with giggling and silly jokes. She constantly inspires me to be optimistic and a better person. Her last day is Thursday and it's going to be a struggle not to have her around. However, she will only be south about 50 miles saving the world. I'm so proud of the what she's chosen to do with her life and it motivates me to take that big leap of faith. She is my buddy for life!Hope you enjoyed my first edition of Inspiring Tuesdays. There are so many other great people and things I wanted to mention but I'm gonna stick with seven for now. Be on the look out next Tuesday for heaps of inspiration!
Blessings,
H
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Spontaneity
My life revolves around endless sets of plans, but it’s my new mission to trade rational and planned decisions for spontaneity.
So when Micah called at noon on Saturday and asked if I wanted to go The Cities with him, Tara and Nancy, I only debated the matter for a few minutes. This is the randomness I keep telling myself I want, so to pass it up would be hypocritical. On that notion, I agreed.
Nothing about our short stay was well thought out. We had three missions: get Tara a palm reading book, go kayaking and find some swagger. We did all that and learned about flute beat boxers, drove past Josh Hartnett’s residence, enjoyed Sunday morning breakfast at a nearby little league tournament, contemplated the meaning behind "Breakfast at Tiffany's" for the first time, ate pizza delivered by super heroes and heard the best rendition of “Kiss” by Prince in the entire state.
It was completely random. It was completely irrelevant to my to-do list. And it was completely appreciated. I desperately welcomed those 32 hours of escape.
People have told me before that sometimes you need to surrender plans and just live. I’m really starting to believe that.
Here’s to spontaneity.
(PS My SD cards were not cooperating this weekend, so no photos recorded the randomness. Maybe that’s a good thing.)
So when Micah called at noon on Saturday and asked if I wanted to go The Cities with him, Tara and Nancy, I only debated the matter for a few minutes. This is the randomness I keep telling myself I want, so to pass it up would be hypocritical. On that notion, I agreed.
Nothing about our short stay was well thought out. We had three missions: get Tara a palm reading book, go kayaking and find some swagger. We did all that and learned about flute beat boxers, drove past Josh Hartnett’s residence, enjoyed Sunday morning breakfast at a nearby little league tournament, contemplated the meaning behind "Breakfast at Tiffany's" for the first time, ate pizza delivered by super heroes and heard the best rendition of “Kiss” by Prince in the entire state.
It was completely random. It was completely irrelevant to my to-do list. And it was completely appreciated. I desperately welcomed those 32 hours of escape.
People have told me before that sometimes you need to surrender plans and just live. I’m really starting to believe that.
Here’s to spontaneity.
(PS My SD cards were not cooperating this weekend, so no photos recorded the randomness. Maybe that’s a good thing.)
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